In many long distance relationships, this question comes to mind frequently, more frequently than in a "normal" relationship. Why is that? Mainly because we begin to wonder if we are worth the wait and constantly wondering if there is someone else closer to where our long distance love is? Whether you have been together for one year or five, this question can come up at any time. As someone who has been in a long distance relationship for almost a year-and-a-half, this question comes to mind all the time unfortunately. I ask myself "what makes me so special that is stopping him from looking and talking to other girls"? Thankfully, this insecurity has a rather simple solution.
How to fix this: DO NOT hold this back. It is so important to sit down with your other half and be honest and open about your insecurities. Especially this one because if you hold this insecurity back, it will eat away at you, and turn you into a person you do not want to be that can rub off on your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sitting down and having this conversation will make him or her aware of how you feel, and they, in turn will be cautious of this and be sure to make you feel like you are their one and only. Another thing to think about is realizing what made them fall in love with you in the first place, and often times makes your relationship like new, and leaves you feeling like the person you started as in the beginning of the relationship.
I'm Not Pretty or Skinny Enough
This is an insecurity most girls have, long distance relationship or not. And admit it, us ladies have a standard we want to live up to. The perfect body, beautiful hair, and flawless skin. And unfortunately, TV programs, the media, and the celebrity world have held women up to a standard of what we "should" look like. I know I struggle with this more than I should. And yes, I have lost 60 pounds. But I still see my body 60 pounds ago to my weight before. How does this affect my relationship? If I don't feel beautiful, it shows. Posture becomes sloppy, and surprisingly, the personality can change because suddenly an outgoing, friendly girl can become a very quiet, and reserved girl.
How to fix this: Go out and buy a new outfit for yourself! Take a girlfriend out for a day of shopping and try on every outfit possible until you feel absolutely beautiful. This is the story behind my "airplane outfits" which some of you have heard about. I always have to have a new outfit when I am on that plane headed to see Matthew. Why? It's the only way I'm confident in myself. Because I have major body image issues, I have to make myself feel my best, and if I don't feel my best and most confident when walking through those doors to meet him, our reuniting would be so different. Another thing to ALWAYS remember, he or she chose YOU! There has to be a reason, and ladies, if your man tells you you're beautiful it's the best compliment. Guys aren't always the best at expressing their feelings, and the feeling of being let down can happen if you have gotten all dressed up and a comment isn't even made about how you look. But always remember that your other half loves you, and you only even if you're having a bad hair day or not feeling your greatest.
There Will Always Be Someone
If you have a past like me, broken trust is a scar that will never go away. Friendships, have taught me to really pay attention to who I hang out with, and who I can trust. And unfortunately, trust issues is one of my biggest insecurities. Ninety-five percent of the time, trust issues lie within someone else, not the one we love. There will always be one person who rubs you the wrong way, and gives you a reason to worry. Long distance relationships make that very difficult. We all want our ldr love to be happy and have a social life, even if we know we can't be there. And that's when the insecurity comes in. We always say "go have fun hanging out or going to this party or that party". And reality is, we do want them to have a genuinely good time. But what makes it difficult, is trusting the other people who will be attending the outing or party. Especially if you know someone will be there who you know you can't trust. The worst feeling about it? We have no control over the situation, and although we trust our loved one 100 %, there's always that someone that will never have your trust whether you know them or not. It's all about first impressions, and unfortunately, most of those nowadays occur through Facebook or other social media.
How to fix this: Always remind yourself how strong your love is. Are you a couple who have been through everything imaginable meant to break you up? If so, it is hopefully a given that with that strong of love, nothing will come between the couple. So let your other half go out and have a good time. Yes, us girls always worry, and start making up horrible stories of what could go wrong, but it is important to have a FaceTime, Skype, etc. date after the party, event, outing, or whatever else may be going on, to remind your love who the one and only is. We cannot put our social lives on hold while being apart, so long as your boyfriend or girlfriend is hanging out with positive people, who want nothing but the best for you and your relationship.
Again, thank you for your continued support, and this blog post was more for me as I have been battling this for a while, and it is something I'm working on everyday to become a better me, and a better girlfriend. I love you all, thanks for reading!
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