Insecurity: The Invisible Monster

I know I have just written, but insecurity is something that has been weighing on my mind for a while. And I have a question, do you ladies think insecurity is highlighted when in a long distance relationship? We all know that our boyfriend or girlfriend makes us feel great about ourselves, and their  job is to love and protect us. However, when so far apart from each other, it can be easy to begin over thinking and doubting. Not doubting the relationship by any means, but doubting ourselves. And I hope that I am not the only one that feels this way on the following points. I guess you could call this blog post "Dodging Insecurity in a Long Distance Relationship". Below are some insecurities I have experienced, as well as some friends of mine who are in long distance relationships, and how to fix these pesky insecurities we all have as girls! And always remember, never feel embarrassed or ashamed of your insecurities. Long distance relationships take work, trust, and believing, so insecurities are completely normal, but I will also provide tips on how to overcome them!

Am I Good Enough? 
In many long distance relationships, this question comes to mind frequently, more frequently than in a "normal" relationship. Why is that? Mainly because we begin to wonder if we are worth the wait and constantly wondering if there is someone else closer to where our long distance love is? Whether you have been together for one year or five, this question can come up at any time. As someone who has been in a long distance relationship for almost a year-and-a-half, this question comes to mind all the time unfortunately. I ask myself "what makes me so special that is stopping him from looking and talking to other girls"? Thankfully, this insecurity has a rather simple solution.

How to fix this: DO NOT hold this back. It is so important to sit down with your other half and be honest and open about your insecurities. Especially this one because if you hold this insecurity back, it will eat away at you, and turn you into a person you do not want to be that can rub off on your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sitting down and having this conversation will make him or her aware of how you feel, and they, in turn will be cautious of this and be sure to make you feel like you are their one and only. Another thing to think about is realizing what made them fall in love with you in the first place, and often times makes your relationship like new, and leaves you feeling like the person you started as in the beginning of the relationship.

I'm Not Pretty or Skinny Enough

This is an insecurity most girls have, long distance relationship or not. And admit it, us ladies have a standard we want to live up to. The perfect body, beautiful hair, and flawless skin. And unfortunately, TV programs, the media, and the celebrity world have held women up to a standard of what we "should" look like. I know I struggle with this more than I should. And yes, I have lost 60 pounds. But I still see my body 60 pounds ago to my weight before. How does this affect my relationship? If I don't feel beautiful, it shows. Posture becomes sloppy, and surprisingly, the personality can change because suddenly an outgoing, friendly girl can become a very quiet, and reserved girl. 

How to fix this: Go out and buy a new outfit for yourself! Take a girlfriend out for a day of shopping and try on every outfit possible until you feel absolutely beautiful. This is the story behind my "airplane outfits" which some of you have heard about. I always have to have a new outfit when I am on that plane headed to see Matthew. Why? It's the only way I'm confident in myself. Because I have major body image issues, I have to make myself feel my best, and if I don't feel my best and most confident when walking through those doors to meet him, our reuniting would be so different. Another thing to ALWAYS remember, he or she chose YOU! There has to be a reason, and ladies, if your man tells you you're beautiful it's the best compliment. Guys aren't always the best at expressing their feelings, and the feeling of being let down can happen if you have gotten all dressed up and a comment isn't even made about how you look. But always remember that your other half loves you, and you only even if you're having a bad hair day or not feeling your greatest. 

There Will Always Be Someone

If you have a past like me, broken trust is a scar that will never go away. Friendships, have taught me to really pay attention to who I hang out with, and who I can trust. And unfortunately, trust issues is one of my biggest insecurities. Ninety-five percent of the time, trust issues lie within someone else, not the one we love. There will always be one person who rubs you the wrong way, and gives you a reason to worry. Long distance relationships make that very difficult. We all want our ldr love to be happy and have a social life, even if we know we can't be there. And that's when the insecurity comes in. We always say "go have fun hanging out or going to this party or that party". And reality is, we do want them to have a genuinely good time. But what makes it difficult, is trusting the other people who will be attending the outing or party. Especially if you know someone will be there who you know you can't trust. The worst feeling about it? We have no control over the situation, and although we trust our loved one 100 %, there's always that someone that will never have your trust whether you know them or not. It's all about first impressions, and unfortunately, most of those nowadays occur through Facebook or other social media. 

How to fix this: Always remind yourself how strong your love is. Are you a couple who have been through everything imaginable meant to break you up? If so, it is hopefully a given that with that strong of love, nothing will come between the couple. So let your other half go out and have a good time. Yes, us girls always worry, and start making up horrible stories of what could go wrong, but it is important to have a FaceTime, Skype, etc. date after the party, event, outing, or whatever else may be going on, to remind your love who the one and only is. We cannot put our social lives on hold while being apart, so long as your boyfriend or girlfriend is hanging out with positive people, who want nothing but the best for you and your relationship. 

Again, thank you for your continued support, and this blog post was more for me as I have been battling this for a while, and it is something I'm working on everyday to become a better me, and a better girlfriend. I love you all, thanks for reading! 

Tis' the Season!

Hello all,
I'm sorry I have not written in a while! If you are keeping up with Facebook, you know that I am in the process of applying to study abroad in Calgary for a semester. This means that I would get to spend seven months with Matthew, and actually experience a relationship that is not long distance! How cool is that? We can actually have the chance to be a couple! The last time we even spent a month together was my Scotland/senior trip where we took a road trip and saw Paris, London, Scotland and too many other wonderful places to name. At that time we weren't a couple yet (not until the end of the trip). But this leads me to today's blog post about spending the holidays with your long distance love, and participating in all Christmas and New Year festivities.

This will be the second Christmas Matthew and I have spent together. And it's amazing to see how much we have grown in the past year. I know I always say that, and you probably think our relationship can't be any stronger than it is now. However, the more time we spend together, just brings us closer and there is ALWAYS room for growth in a relationship. But spending Christmas and New Year together (and our year-and-a-half anniversary) is so special, and the month I am there will be a great month and so special. Today's blog post will have tips for how to have a great Christmas and New Year with your LDR love, and activities that make the holiday season special!

It's Not About Spending A Lot Of Money

Many couples think that the only way to have fun, is by going out and spending a lot of money. When in fact, it's not about that at all. A night in with hot chocolate, Christmas movies, and a warm blanket make for a great night in, and if you are in a long distance relationship, we all know that just spending quality time together is what's important. To have a night in, for under $10 reduces stress levels knowing it won't be an expensive night out. Other ideas, make dinner together then watch movies or play board games together. Or one of you can be responsible for making dinner, and the other can be responsible for dessert. Like to spend money and want to get fancy? Buy a table linen and some candles, and make a table setting for your special dinner and movie night!

Take a Walk in the Snow Together

I know, this sounds freezing and not so pleasant. But getting out of the house and taking a walk together in the snow makes a great day. It's free, and can give the couple a chance to just talk about anything and everything, and if you're lucky, maybe it will start snowing during your romantic walk in the snow! If the roads are too slick to go driving and you want to get out of the house, make a day out of it and bake cookies, take your walk while the cookies are baking, come back and warm up with the freshly baked cookies and some hot chocolate. 

Winter Photo Shoot & Greeting Cards

If you're in a long distance relationship, your friends and family don't get to see you and your love together very often. However, a great way to fix that is by having a couple of photos taken by someone, and sending Christmas cards to friends and family showing them how happy of a couple you are! Your friends and family have heard you talk about your LDR love, but chances are, they haven't been able to see you together yet! Shutterfly has some great Christmas cards, and they are well priced. You can even do this with New Year's!

Christmas Eve Candlelight Service

Attending the Christmas Eve candlelight service is something I love to do! And if you get the chance to be your long distance love during the holidays, attending this service together is great! It doesn't have to be a church you attend regularly, and many churches in every community offer a few times on Christmas Eve to attend so you don't miss it. An evening of singing Christmas carols, and closing the service by lighting the candle and singing Silent Night is an amazing experience and brings everyone back to remembering the real meaning of Christmas! 

Ringing in the New Year

What better way to end the holiday season? Of course by finding the biggest and best New Year's firework display! If you get the chance to spend New Year's with your boyfriend or girlfriend, make it a point to get out of the house to see fireworks, and get your midnight kiss! Before heading out for the firework display, as a couple you can make a list of New Year's resolutions. This can be individual resolutions or resolutions as a couple such as seeing each other more often,  calling and texting each other more often or anything you feel you can work on as a couple! 

I hope everyone has enjoyed reading this blog post, and I will be posting from Canada when Matthew and I are together! If you are fortunate enough to spend Christmas with your long distance love, make the most out of it, and enjoy every minute you have together! Thanks for reading everyone!