Insecurity: The Invisible Monster

I know I have just written, but insecurity is something that has been weighing on my mind for a while. And I have a question, do you ladies think insecurity is highlighted when in a long distance relationship? We all know that our boyfriend or girlfriend makes us feel great about ourselves, and their  job is to love and protect us. However, when so far apart from each other, it can be easy to begin over thinking and doubting. Not doubting the relationship by any means, but doubting ourselves. And I hope that I am not the only one that feels this way on the following points. I guess you could call this blog post "Dodging Insecurity in a Long Distance Relationship". Below are some insecurities I have experienced, as well as some friends of mine who are in long distance relationships, and how to fix these pesky insecurities we all have as girls! And always remember, never feel embarrassed or ashamed of your insecurities. Long distance relationships take work, trust, and believing, so insecurities are completely normal, but I will also provide tips on how to overcome them!

Am I Good Enough? 
In many long distance relationships, this question comes to mind frequently, more frequently than in a "normal" relationship. Why is that? Mainly because we begin to wonder if we are worth the wait and constantly wondering if there is someone else closer to where our long distance love is? Whether you have been together for one year or five, this question can come up at any time. As someone who has been in a long distance relationship for almost a year-and-a-half, this question comes to mind all the time unfortunately. I ask myself "what makes me so special that is stopping him from looking and talking to other girls"? Thankfully, this insecurity has a rather simple solution.

How to fix this: DO NOT hold this back. It is so important to sit down with your other half and be honest and open about your insecurities. Especially this one because if you hold this insecurity back, it will eat away at you, and turn you into a person you do not want to be that can rub off on your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sitting down and having this conversation will make him or her aware of how you feel, and they, in turn will be cautious of this and be sure to make you feel like you are their one and only. Another thing to think about is realizing what made them fall in love with you in the first place, and often times makes your relationship like new, and leaves you feeling like the person you started as in the beginning of the relationship.

I'm Not Pretty or Skinny Enough

This is an insecurity most girls have, long distance relationship or not. And admit it, us ladies have a standard we want to live up to. The perfect body, beautiful hair, and flawless skin. And unfortunately, TV programs, the media, and the celebrity world have held women up to a standard of what we "should" look like. I know I struggle with this more than I should. And yes, I have lost 60 pounds. But I still see my body 60 pounds ago to my weight before. How does this affect my relationship? If I don't feel beautiful, it shows. Posture becomes sloppy, and surprisingly, the personality can change because suddenly an outgoing, friendly girl can become a very quiet, and reserved girl. 

How to fix this: Go out and buy a new outfit for yourself! Take a girlfriend out for a day of shopping and try on every outfit possible until you feel absolutely beautiful. This is the story behind my "airplane outfits" which some of you have heard about. I always have to have a new outfit when I am on that plane headed to see Matthew. Why? It's the only way I'm confident in myself. Because I have major body image issues, I have to make myself feel my best, and if I don't feel my best and most confident when walking through those doors to meet him, our reuniting would be so different. Another thing to ALWAYS remember, he or she chose YOU! There has to be a reason, and ladies, if your man tells you you're beautiful it's the best compliment. Guys aren't always the best at expressing their feelings, and the feeling of being let down can happen if you have gotten all dressed up and a comment isn't even made about how you look. But always remember that your other half loves you, and you only even if you're having a bad hair day or not feeling your greatest. 

There Will Always Be Someone

If you have a past like me, broken trust is a scar that will never go away. Friendships, have taught me to really pay attention to who I hang out with, and who I can trust. And unfortunately, trust issues is one of my biggest insecurities. Ninety-five percent of the time, trust issues lie within someone else, not the one we love. There will always be one person who rubs you the wrong way, and gives you a reason to worry. Long distance relationships make that very difficult. We all want our ldr love to be happy and have a social life, even if we know we can't be there. And that's when the insecurity comes in. We always say "go have fun hanging out or going to this party or that party". And reality is, we do want them to have a genuinely good time. But what makes it difficult, is trusting the other people who will be attending the outing or party. Especially if you know someone will be there who you know you can't trust. The worst feeling about it? We have no control over the situation, and although we trust our loved one 100 %, there's always that someone that will never have your trust whether you know them or not. It's all about first impressions, and unfortunately, most of those nowadays occur through Facebook or other social media. 

How to fix this: Always remind yourself how strong your love is. Are you a couple who have been through everything imaginable meant to break you up? If so, it is hopefully a given that with that strong of love, nothing will come between the couple. So let your other half go out and have a good time. Yes, us girls always worry, and start making up horrible stories of what could go wrong, but it is important to have a FaceTime, Skype, etc. date after the party, event, outing, or whatever else may be going on, to remind your love who the one and only is. We cannot put our social lives on hold while being apart, so long as your boyfriend or girlfriend is hanging out with positive people, who want nothing but the best for you and your relationship. 

Again, thank you for your continued support, and this blog post was more for me as I have been battling this for a while, and it is something I'm working on everyday to become a better me, and a better girlfriend. I love you all, thanks for reading! 

Tis' the Season!

Hello all,
I'm sorry I have not written in a while! If you are keeping up with Facebook, you know that I am in the process of applying to study abroad in Calgary for a semester. This means that I would get to spend seven months with Matthew, and actually experience a relationship that is not long distance! How cool is that? We can actually have the chance to be a couple! The last time we even spent a month together was my Scotland/senior trip where we took a road trip and saw Paris, London, Scotland and too many other wonderful places to name. At that time we weren't a couple yet (not until the end of the trip). But this leads me to today's blog post about spending the holidays with your long distance love, and participating in all Christmas and New Year festivities.

This will be the second Christmas Matthew and I have spent together. And it's amazing to see how much we have grown in the past year. I know I always say that, and you probably think our relationship can't be any stronger than it is now. However, the more time we spend together, just brings us closer and there is ALWAYS room for growth in a relationship. But spending Christmas and New Year together (and our year-and-a-half anniversary) is so special, and the month I am there will be a great month and so special. Today's blog post will have tips for how to have a great Christmas and New Year with your LDR love, and activities that make the holiday season special!

It's Not About Spending A Lot Of Money

Many couples think that the only way to have fun, is by going out and spending a lot of money. When in fact, it's not about that at all. A night in with hot chocolate, Christmas movies, and a warm blanket make for a great night in, and if you are in a long distance relationship, we all know that just spending quality time together is what's important. To have a night in, for under $10 reduces stress levels knowing it won't be an expensive night out. Other ideas, make dinner together then watch movies or play board games together. Or one of you can be responsible for making dinner, and the other can be responsible for dessert. Like to spend money and want to get fancy? Buy a table linen and some candles, and make a table setting for your special dinner and movie night!

Take a Walk in the Snow Together

I know, this sounds freezing and not so pleasant. But getting out of the house and taking a walk together in the snow makes a great day. It's free, and can give the couple a chance to just talk about anything and everything, and if you're lucky, maybe it will start snowing during your romantic walk in the snow! If the roads are too slick to go driving and you want to get out of the house, make a day out of it and bake cookies, take your walk while the cookies are baking, come back and warm up with the freshly baked cookies and some hot chocolate. 

Winter Photo Shoot & Greeting Cards

If you're in a long distance relationship, your friends and family don't get to see you and your love together very often. However, a great way to fix that is by having a couple of photos taken by someone, and sending Christmas cards to friends and family showing them how happy of a couple you are! Your friends and family have heard you talk about your LDR love, but chances are, they haven't been able to see you together yet! Shutterfly has some great Christmas cards, and they are well priced. You can even do this with New Year's!

Christmas Eve Candlelight Service

Attending the Christmas Eve candlelight service is something I love to do! And if you get the chance to be your long distance love during the holidays, attending this service together is great! It doesn't have to be a church you attend regularly, and many churches in every community offer a few times on Christmas Eve to attend so you don't miss it. An evening of singing Christmas carols, and closing the service by lighting the candle and singing Silent Night is an amazing experience and brings everyone back to remembering the real meaning of Christmas! 

Ringing in the New Year

What better way to end the holiday season? Of course by finding the biggest and best New Year's firework display! If you get the chance to spend New Year's with your boyfriend or girlfriend, make it a point to get out of the house to see fireworks, and get your midnight kiss! Before heading out for the firework display, as a couple you can make a list of New Year's resolutions. This can be individual resolutions or resolutions as a couple such as seeing each other more often,  calling and texting each other more often or anything you feel you can work on as a couple! 

I hope everyone has enjoyed reading this blog post, and I will be posting from Canada when Matthew and I are together! If you are fortunate enough to spend Christmas with your long distance love, make the most out of it, and enjoy every minute you have together! Thanks for reading everyone! 

I See My Long Distance Love Soon...Why Am I Feeling So Depressed and Alone?

Tonight's post is going to be very personal. Throughout the last couple of weeks, I have had my own struggles. And I wanted to write a post to my other LDR friends to see if you guys have the same feelings. I believe it is mainly the girls who have these feelings...but guys, please put in your input as well.

Have you ever felt, that although you are in the last week of counting down, suddenly all of these negative emotions start coming in such as depression and loneliness? Unfortunately...these are feelings that I have had going on about three weeks. The annoying thing...there is no reason for it. I love Matthew with all my heart...there is nothing negative in our relationship, so why am I feeling this way? I've been praying for these feelings to go away...I know that as soon as I walk through those doors Thursday, I will be at peace, and may even have some tears of joy since this has been a hard stretch (I have been back in Colorado since July 4th). The hard thing though...is that we have to go six months after my trip in December...I don't even want to go there... on that issue.  So after praying for these feelings to go away so I can feel nothing but happiness, I came up with a few reasons why the depression and feeling of loneliness have set in. My situation may be different, however, Matthew left for Scotland this week. This means 7 hour time difference, not much communication, and some days we don't even talk...it sucks! I know the time we will have together makes up for it, but this week is definitely challenging me to the max! Have I felt like giving up? Thankfully, I haven't reached that point, and I don't plan to knowing it's short term. But these feelings have brought back the way I used to feel before Matthew moved to Canada, and I think another reason I may be upset is the fact that he still cannot come see me, but can go to Scotland (I would have gone too if flights were not so expensive, if you know the story, he cannot come here due to immigration troubles). I also may be upset because all the memories of when I fell in love with him are mostly in Scotland and the UK. We grew so much the month I visited him there, and the places I have great memories, are places he gets to visit.  I would love if you guys shared your thoughts with me on these points that I generally think may be the reason for depression and loneliness when you are about to visit you long distance love.

Point #1: Lack of Patience

I believe one of the main reasons that causes these feelings before seeing your long distance love...is the lack of patience. It's often hard to focus on school, work, or whatever you have going on, when it is down to single digits in the countdown. I know for me the past two weeks, the days have been going by so slow, because I find myself sitting in class, thinking about getting off that plane, and walking through the doors of international arrivals, to be in each others arms again. Girls in LDRs, do you daydream like that too? That moment you get to be together again after going months without seeing each other? An LDR is an LDR. Whether it has been one month or six, a reuniting is always the best feeling. So it's easy to become impatient, therefore causing unnecessary anxiety, stress, and depression knowing you are so close, yet so far away. Especially in my situation, where I have to drive an hour south at 2 in the afternoon, board the plane, have a layover in my own city (Denver), then arrive in Calgary finally at 10 at night! The best way to fix this feeling? Stay focused! Pretend like you have an ordinary week, and try focusing on what needs to be done, and suddenly, it will be time to head for the airport. 

Point #2: Are They As Excited As I Am?

If you are a girl, you know what I'm talking about. We all have self confidence...but in some of us, we have a lack of self confidence in the sense that we know we are loved by our long distance love....but we think "I hope they are excited to see me as I am!" This can cause so many unnecessary feelings, and in often times, can cause you to act out, and show your anxiety and depression, because the lack of self-confidence sets in...something I'm really trying to work on. The best way to fix this? Have faith and trust. If your long distance love tells you they love you...they do! And I would hope they are as excited to see you as you are to see them. And of they aren't....then it may be time to talk, because this may mean you both are not on the same page. But in most cases, an LDR makes you stronger, so the love is almost always mutual! 

Point #3: Already Thinking About Having To Say Goodbye

Every LDR is different, but the same in the respect that we all have to say goodbye again at some point. If your LDR is anything like mine, the love grows more and more each time...therefore, making it more difficult to say goodbye each time. I've realized that the last two times before July, I kept myself together...and had my pity fest by myself once I got home. I wanted to be strong for the both of us. However...in July...I completely lost it...in the middle of the airport. Sucks...I know! My problem, and maybe you guys have this problem as well is: "I'm so excited to see him/her, but I know I have to leave again." I try not to think about it...and it helps when I'm there for longer trips, but this time, because of having to get back to school and work...I am only staying Thursday-Monday. This only highlights the fact that the time we get together is SO important, and there won't be any time for negativity. And negativity in this situation is the thought of having to leave. It usually hits me while packing, and driving to the airport, and finally, standing in the same spot we always do in those final moments of having to say goodbye. There is a door I always have to stop at to have my passport/boarding pass checked...and Matthew stays until I'm through the door. Do I turn around and wave one more time before walking through those doors? Absolutely not. I know that sounds horrible...but it's too hard for me. We say our goodbyes, and I walk away...knowing I can't run back to him. How to fix this feeling? Enjoy the time you get to spend together! Try to push the thought of leaving to the back of your head. Thinking about the day you have to say goodbye...causes depression and the feeling of loneliness before even arriving. 

Point #4: The Job Doesn't Stop

Well, everyone has to make money. And if you have bad luck, your long distance love will be working the majority of the time you are visiting. Whatever has to happen to put meals on the table...but us girls like to have all the time we can get with our long distance love right?! Thankfully, Matthew is only working one day while I'm visiting next weekend, but it's still time we won't have together, and he will most likely be working on Christmas Day..YAY!! Not so much....How to fix the sour feeling of your long distance love having to work? Have the mindset that when he/she comes home from work, you have the day to do whatever you want together! Make dinner together, have movie night, go for a walk, or enjoy a nice meal out. Another way to fix it, go see him/her at work. Matthew works at Starbucks, so I'm sure I will be visiting often. The last way to fix this situation, is to make use of the time you have with his/her parents. Are you close to your long distance loves parents? I'm close with Jacqui (Matthew's mom) so we have days planned in December, where we can have girl time, while Matthew is at work! 

I hope this blog post has helped. Again, I would love input and comments! If the comments don't work on here, feel free to post on my Facebook wall (That's preferred actually. I know that works!) I hope I'm not the only one with these feelings. There are a lot of struggles in an LDR, but with communication, both of you can talk about these things. Matthew and I had a quick chat for about 10 minutes today. I was in a horrible mood, and when we got off of FaceTime...I went to a co-worker, she saw I was about to lose it, came over and gave me a hug, and I just started crying. At the time..I had no clue why I was crying....I felt so stupid.  I have had this annoying feeling for three weeks. But after praying about it, and sitting down and thinking hard about why I felt so depressed, anxious, lonely, and mad...I was able to write about it! And I feel a lot better! Thanks to everyone who reads my posts. This one was very important to me! Stay strong my LDR friends!! 

-Hannah xoxo 

Arrivals-The Moment So Anticipated

Arrivals: Written by Matthew Ruxton

Sitting.....standing.....tapping your feet.....consuming copious amounts of coffee. These are some of the main actions you are doing when you wait for the other half of your LDR at the airport. It’s a stressful time. In my opinion, the person who has to wait, has it hardest. Now my other half might disagree, but you get all excited getting to the airport, and then you have to wait. It’s made worse too if your respective half has to travel through International arrivals. You sit there patiently watching the arrivals screen, waiting for that update at 10:29, then it tells you it has arrived, but you still have to wait as they go through Immigration, baggage claim, and customs, before they walk through the frosty doors of your home airport.

I personally love the moments of reunification though. You feel whole again. You feel like you are on top of the earth. It’s what keeps you going. It’s what keeps you together.

It’s really all about the love you share for each other. If you don’t get excited, you don’t get nervous, or you don’t get that rush of love when he or she walks through the door then maybe an LDR isn’t for you. 

I’ve always known that it’s for me. I never regret the decision, and I don’t think I ever will. 

Arrivals: Written by Hannah Lyons

The day has finally come when the countdown is over, bags are packed, and boarding pass in hand. It's such a great feeling knowing you will be seeing your long distance love in a few short hours after starting a countdown at 102 days. The worst part about being the one having to travel, is everything you have to go through before being together again. In my situation, it's security, then waiting to board the plane, then the plane ride, then getting off the plane and having to go through immigration, baggage claim, and customs. 

But the moment that makes that journey so worth it, is walking through those frosted glass doors, and seeing my Scotsman standing there, waiting for me, and like he says, you feel whole again. There is NO feeling like being in each others arms again, and appreciating every moment you have together during your stay. Matthew and I have been through a lot together, and it is safe to say that we are Long Distance Relationship pros. But no matter how many times we are reunited, the same feeling of being anxious, excited, and full of love come flowing back. And I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything! Only certain people are made for an LDR, and if you are strong enough to make it through, that is amazing! If you are in an LDR, ALWAYS cherish those moments of being reunited! 

Staying Happy in Your LDR When Apart

Are you that couple that as soon as you are together, you are the happiest couple in the world but once you leave each other your world feels like it is crashing down on you? That is how most long distance relationship couples are. And it is totally ok to feel like that. But the real challenge is how to remain that happy smiling couple when away from each other. Communication is key in a long distance relationship, and there are ways to keep your relationship alive when apart.

FaceTime, Skype, and Google Hangout Dates

FaceTime (if you have a Mac product) is the best way to communicate while in a long distance relationship. It is a great way to be able to see each other and talk about how your day was. The debate has been whether to set a time to chat, or call each other whenever it is convenient. And I think it is great to meet in the middle. Because of school, work, or whatever else you may have going on; it can be difficult to chat every night. However, setting aside time (one hour a day) to see your long distance love is very important to keep your relationship strong. If for some reason one of you has something going on during your normal “date” time, be sure to communicate with each other beforehand. Skype and Google Hangouts is also a great to stay connected. Google Hangouts is great because you can play around with hats that you can “wear” on-screen and even watch YouTube together.

Care Packages

Another great way to keep your love strong when apart is sending care packages to each other. Care packages can be hard when deciding what to put in it, and paying postage can be stressful. So if you work, put together a care package right after a paycheck, so you can focus on putting all things your long distance love likes, into the box without having to be really tight with money. Be sure to put everything he/she likes in the box (ex: favorite candy, favorite food, themed for holidays). You can even top it off with love coupons (PG rated of course) with things like “date night out” or “homemade meal”.

Countdown

Having a countdown in your long distance relationship is very important. It can be hard buying flights and figuring out how to see each other often, but seeing each other as often as possible is one of the most important thing in your LDR. Switch off seeing each other and have him come see you or you go see him. Having that countdown is very important and keeps your love strong while apart because it gives you something to look forward to, rather than dwelling on the fact that you aren’t together.

So stay strong LDR couples!

True Love Waits...

“True love waits…”

Purity, a subject not talked about nowadays, because it is not as common as it was years ago. Unfortunately, we are growing up in a time where church is no longer a priority, but partying and dating is. I wanted to bring up this topic, because it is near to my heart, and important to me.

                                   

Staying pure is a decision you have to make by yourself. The biggest problem with today’s society is that girls feel influenced by their friends to be “cool” and “popular”. But in reality, that isn’t what will determine your future. Girls can choose to stay pure for many reasons. What is my reason? The Bible. The Bible says that abstinence until marriage is important. And this is what I have always believed. Some people wonder why abstinence until marriage is necessary. And this is my take on it. You may have heard of the saying “your body is a temple, not a visitor’s center.” And this is completely true. Giving up your body to someone who will not permanently be in your life can affect you in big ways. The wedding ceremony is the biblical bonding of the couple, and therefore, after becoming both legally and biblically bonded, it is then ok. Do not give up your body to anyone other than the man who you will be with for the rest of your life. Even if you are in a committed relationship, nothing is “official” until that ceremony.

Staying pure also has other benefits. One of which being that it makes your relationship healthier. If you and your significant other are on the same page regarding this subject, it makes your relationship stress-free, and there is no arguing over what is acceptable or not in your relationship.

What does staying pure have to do with a long-distance relationship? A lot. Although staying pure has a history of being biblically related, some couples choose to stay abstinent because of the distance. It makes you less dependent on each other, and although it is always difficult being away from each other, remaining abstinent can teach you to not rely on each other so much. A good relationship should be built on emotions, not on the physical bond. Yes, physical attraction does mean something. But in the long run, having a strong connection based on emotions and support, is the most important. That doesn’t mean to stop kissing and holding hands; it just means to find that balance of trust, emotional support, and the physical bond.

How people have responded to me making the decision? Honestly, I don’t mind how people react. Unfortunately today, it makes it hard for people to understand what the big deal is with remaining pure. Others tease me on a daily basis for my decision. But my decision will provide for a great future, and I am perfectly happy being teased, than making decisions that may not be the smartest. So ladies, if you are remaining pure, GO YOU! Don’t be threatened by what other people are saying to you about your decision. Use it, as a time to tell your testimony and explain why remaining pure is important!

A Little Bit of History

Before diving into giving a bunch of long distance relationship tips, I would first like to give you my story. Try to follow along, as I know it can get a bit confusing. Seventh grade, six years ago, I met Matthew for the first time at Greenwood Lakes Middle School in Lake Mary, Florida. He had just moved from Scotland. We hit it off, and spent almost every weekend together, playing mini golf in the Disney Resort area, or eating at Golden Corral. We spent time together at school when we could. We became really close, and I then fell into a bad friendship that was manipulative and it didn’t end well for any of us. That being said, Matthew and I grew apart, we weren’t, as close, and I completely understood if he never wanted to see my face again. I found out that I had to move to Colorado in 2007. I would be starting eighth grade in Colorado, and had to start all over. We said our goodbyes, and I moved away, and contact was lost for some time. After a bit, we found each other on Facebook, and I added him, and sent him a message. We talked a little bit, trying to reconnect, and in March of 2010 I had plans to surprise my best friend for her birthday in Florida. We met up one night at Downtown Disney, a special place to both of us, and ate dinner at Rainforest Café. We spent the night talking, and reconnecting, and dinner ended with Matthew having to pay for a candle that staff members put into the dessert! That is really when we began talking again. After that, he surprised me for my senior homecoming. We went to the dance, he had gotten me a beautiful necklace, and he then went back to Orlando. It was shortly after that when things began to drastically change.

                            

          A few months after homecoming, Matthew, his mother, and grandmother got word that they were being sent back to Scotland through no fault of their own. Matthew’s father had passed away, and immigration seemed to have some mix-ups in their file. Matthew and his family had to pack up, and go back to Scotland where they had no one. Jacqui, his mom ran a successful business, and things were going pretty well for them in Florida. Matthew thought it would be a possibility to come back to the States to finish high school, and visit me for my senior prom. On his flight over, he was told he was good to go, but was then told he was not entering the U.S. and they sent him back to Scotland after keeping him essentially detained for hours, and he had no one to talk to. I did not find out until he had gotten home, and I received an email stating he would not make it to be with me for prom. He finished high school online, and I graduated in May of 2012. My parents surprised me with a trip to Scotland to see Matthew, and spend a month touring Europe, and ending our trip in London before returning to Scotland. The trip was absolutely amazing, and it sounds corny, but I fell in love in Paris. The city of love really does work!

        

         We ended the trip in London, because Matthew had an appointment at the embassy to get a visa to come back to the States to study. They kept him for hours, in the embassy, Jacqui, his gran, and I had no idea where he was, as he could not have his phone with him, and time was getting tight as we had a reservation for afternoon tea. He finally came out, and after not seeing him for several hours, I wanted nothing more than to hug him and make sure everything was ok. He walked out of the embassy, tears welling up. As he walked towards me, I knew right then what the answer was. No words were exchanged, we just hugged, and I ensured him that we would get through it, and nothing would ever come between us. On June 29^th, 2012 we made our relationship official, but there was the lingering thought in my mind of how we would make it work being on opposite ends of the world. The next plan was to study in Canada. He was quick to make arrangements for Canada, and moved out there in October of 2012. He was studying at DeVry University, until we were told the campus was shutting down. However, in order to stay within the visa requirements, on-campus classes must be taken. Thankfully, everything was worked out; he got to participate in graduation, which I was thankful to be able to be there for. He is now finishing his degree online, and still in Canada. I have fallen in love with Canada, and long for the day I get to go back. I have visited three times, and every time Matthew and I have to say goodbye to each other, it gets harder and harder. The place we stand in the airport to say our goodbyes is an image engraved in my memory, and I have to try hard to not see it everyday we are not together. But it makes our relationship stronger, and being away from each other is so difficult, but we are in it together and work through it. And it makes the time we have together so special. So this is my love story, and throughout my time blogging, I will post tips, and have a theme each week. If you would like to share your story, type it up and email it to hannahplyons@gmail.com. Thank you so much for reading and enjoy!